It was barely 2009 on the First Friday of January when a cheerful, mellow crowd took their seats for the monthly short film contest. But with FFS, mellow is a relative term. Unprompted, the crowd began clapping in unison for Max, our beloved host. And when he appeared, some in the crowd hollered “Take it off!”

Now everyone knows that Max is too sexy for his shirt. And everyone knows that he often taunts the audience with promises that he will disrobe, then coyly remains clad. So the calls for “Take it off!” are nothing new. Thus it was with considerable astonishment and elation (not quite presidential inauguration level, but still) that we watched as Max snatched his shirt off his chiseled torso and stood, proud and pink, nipples erect. Needless to say, we feasted our eyes. He’s looking good for an irreverent culture junkie and father of two.

Despite protesting that he was cold, Max did not seem to want to put his shirt back on. More incendiary still, he dangled the catnip of a visit to his shag-carpeted van for select audience members. The qualifications required for this coveted invitation were never quite clear.

Max opened with a ringer, “A Peanus Christmas,” a spoof of the threadbare classic “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” In the flick, a sultry adult live-action Lucy seduces an adult Charlie, but when Charlie’s drunk mom shows up, Charlie goes psycho-killer and attacks all the other characters. Funny until it went all slasher, but again I’m a wizened father of two and I’ve lost my taste for gratuitous gore. Plus I cringed for the ‘tweens who were back in the front row that night.

The evening’s first film in competition was, “My Name Is Nacho” by Robert Jaure, an animated comedy in which a big rude dude drinks devil soda and turns into a devil. More animation followed with, “Loss of Face,” by Todd Winkels, an impressionistic flow of cool spindly line drawings in which faces and female forms emerged against a static-y soundtrack. Artsy and interesting.

After another ringer, a mock-commercial for a baby doll that pees on the daddy, we saw still more animation, this time from the Basic Animation Skills Class at the Tucson Art Institute. Titled “Balls,” the compilation showed a variety of animated bouncing balls with funny sound effects.

Next came William Wilson with his film “A Moment of Christmas Zen.” Wilson introduced his film by reading from the back of a book of poetry by Star Trek’s own Leonard Nimoy. The film boasted a single shot of a giant inflatable Santa who straddles the road – Winter Haven? The crowd loved it. And Max, bare-chested and quick on the draw, picked up on the Nimoy poetry and shared some doggerel allegedly penned by William Shatner. He recited the poem, complete with his impression of Shatner’s signature speaking style, as follows:

Spock
feel my jock,
my cock
is hard as a rock!

If that don’t leave ‘em rolling on the playground, nuthin’ will. Max then went into a rambling ode to porn food, which was hard to follow until he screened the next ringer, an extra-cheesy 1980s music video “Room Service” which featured a bevy of shirtless Chippendale’s hunks who service a sexy rich vixen when she arrives at a luxury hotel and calls for room service. Impressive hair. Then Brooke Sebold rolled out “Thief,” a tight, expertly shot and deftly edited suspense short that was short on narrative but outstanding on technique. I sat up and took notice, and so did many in the audience. Then it was time for intermission.

During intermission I ventured out to the Loft patio to hobnob, and when I returned the crowd was chanting “Zar! Zar! Zar!” Zar turned out to be the towering bearded ingénue from a homemade workout video that the Loft crew was screening for entertainment during the break. Max popped up with a carved Tiki Head mask (how does he do it? Does he keep this stuff in the van?), and Max commanded all to bow down to Zar. Yells for Zar rang out randomly through the rest of the evening.

Before going back to the films in competition, Max rolled another ringer starring bubble wrap. Without any title that I saw, the film focused on animated talking faces drawn over bubble wrap. Inevitably, giant fingers and pencils then pop the hapless bubbles, and the bubbles suffer terrible anxiety as they and their brethren get popped. Clever and funny.

Then Brooke Sebold screened her second film of the night, “Brotherhood.” It starts with a young man hitchhiking on a rural road, then his wild older brother picks him up in a car that might be stolen and insists that he drive the younger brother home on his visit from college. The two brothers bond as the tension between them grows, they run out of gas, they get more gas, they have a fight while driving, and then the cops close in. The older brother reveals that he’s on the run from the law.

Exceptionally well-crafted on every level, engaging and affecting, the film showcases outstanding directing talent. Some Googling revealed that Sebold grew up in Tucson and now lives in San Francisco. With co-directors Benita and Todd Sills, she made the acclaimed documentary “Red Without Blue” about gay identical twins, one of them transgender. We wish Sebold great things in her film career, and we hope she will bring more of her short films to FFS when she visits Tucson again.

Then the Wonderful Stories team brought “Couch” with their signature deadpan oddball humor. In the film, a couch starts talking about numbers, then the main character uses a calculator, his friend comes over, the friend is amazed by the talking couch, and they have a party. Sometimes amusing, sometimes tiresome.

I’m not sure if it was the spirit of giving brought on by the holidays, or a warm theater on a cold night, or just the several pints of beer, but love was in the air at the Loft’s First Friday Shorts contest this December, and the hook-up sparks were flying. Or maybe it was because the Daily Star’s own Caliente picked FFS as a great first date spot. Thanks to the Caliente plug, Max dubbed himself “Cupid” for the evening, then picked and paired several singles from the audience for the duration of the show. I’m pretty sure some lucky film fan got to visit Max’s groovy shag-carpeted van after show, too. I keep angling for an invitation to the van myself, but Max just soaks me for beer money and never gives me the nod.

As usual, Max led off the night’s screenings with a ringer, a darkly comical mock-commercial for herpes medication. Maybe abstinence ain’t so bad after all. The first film in competition, “Devil Fish” by Patrick (missed the last name), followed an animated little fish chased by an animated big fish. And Harrison Sim’s “Red Shirt Man” followed, another animated tale with a little guy punching out an evil blind man. So far, the little guys were fighting hard and the blind first date couples were saying hello. The next Max pick, a short about a restaurant called IHFM (I Hate Fucking Mondays) spoofed the TGIF restaurant chain, and it’s worth a look:
 

I’ve been so obsessed with politics that I only came to my senses yesterday and realized, after my wave of euphoria (and I’m still feelin’ it) that October is over and First Friday Shorts is tonight! So this one will be quick. Obamanos!

Way back there at the previous FFS, back before Halloween, back before hope was restored to the nation and the world, Max hosted October’s contest at the Loft. He was flying solo for the first time in maybe years – no Mike, no Jeff by his side. But he turned in an impressive performance nonetheless, especially with his gentle prodding of the crowd’s homoerotic ambivalence.

I’m not going to catalog the night’s films this time. There were several good films that deserve mention. The fourth entry of the evening, an untitled short by Spencer and DB Tender (names right?) about an amusingly odd dude who watches movies all day made me laugh. A few films later, James Petrovski’s “His Story,” about a guy drinking whiskey in the tub won me over. Then A.L. Bear’s hilariously deadpan and inventive nature mockumentary, “The Secret World of Mennonites,” examined the religious minority as an endangered species. I roared my approval along with the crowd. And finally FFS stalwarts Phillip Lybrand and Sean Clayton brought us “Does Not Have a Name,” a riff on zipping the fly, and “Simon” about an entrepreneurial cat, respectively, and they were both funny.

(click 'read more' to find out who won!!!)

No review here, but a fist-pumping plug for two upcoming events that filmmakers should make every effort to catch.

First, the Tucson Film and Music Festival revs up this weekend, starting Thursday night. In previous years the TFMF coincided with the HoCo Fest at Hotel Congress over Labor Day Weekend. This year it will start with a screening at the UA’s Berger Theater of “Throw Down Your Heart,” a doc about banjo legend Bela Fleck. (Watch the trailer for this film and others at www.aznightbuzz.com/tucsonfilm.

The fest combines a love of music and film with a deep appreciation for the American Southwest. Plush will host live shows as part of the event. Past festivals were packed with great music docs that are hard to see anywhere else, and this year looks like another captivating line up.